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Supporting Your Autistic Child at School: Resources for Parents
You are the expert on your child.
This page is here to offer tools and strategies to help you work alongside your child’s school team in supporting your autistic child’s learning and development.
Click the Button to Listen to Dr. Barry Prizant’s Advice for Parents
In Chapter 8 of Uniquely Human, Dr. Prizant talks straight to parents, families, and caregivers — the real experts when it comes to their kids.
While professionals can offer helpful advice, no one knows your child like you do. One of the best ways to support your child is by working closely with their school team, as true partners.
Why Collaboration Matters
Parents, alongside students and classroom teachers, form the core of the student support team. Principals, teachers, and students also play vital roles in student-specific planning. School clinicians provide services for school personnel and parents may become active members of a student’s support team.
Other school support team members, including but not limited to Elders, mental health professionals, and/or community resources personnel, may be called upon to participate in the planning process.
Framing Empowerment
You are not “just” a parent - you are an essential partner in your child’s success.
1
COLLABORATION
Children thrive when home and school work together.
2
SUPPORT
Parent insight + educator strategy = stronger support.
3
PARTNERSHIP
You bring deep knowledge. Educators bring resources. Together, we build solutions.
Communication that Builds Bridges
Kids who struggle to regulate their bodies often rely on strategies that don’t really work—and those behaviors can easily be mistaken for “bad behavior.”
But there’s usually something deeper going on underneath the surface.
Share what’s working at home early and often.
If you’ve discovered something that helps your child stay calm, focus, or transition smoothly at home, don’t wait to share it. Even small strategies - like using countdown timers or visual cues - can be incredibly helpful for educators trying to create a predictable and supportive environment.
Use strengths-based language.
The way we talk about our children influences how others perceive and respond to them. Instead of saying “He’s hard to manage,” try “He thrives when there’s a clear routine.” Framing your child through a lens of capability and potential opens the door to more constructive collaboration.
Communication logs, regular check-ins, and shared goals help avoid missteps.
Consistent, respectful communication builds a foundation of trust. Whether it's a daily communication notebook, a biweekly email update, or scheduled meetings, regular touchpoints reduce miscommunication and help everyone stay aligned on what’s working and what needs adjusting.
Click the links below for examples of a Communication Book, Regulation Plan, and Survey for Parents.
Questions You Can Ask the School Team
Please: Ask - Share -Collaborate
How is my child supported when dysregulated?
How are goals communicated to us?
How are transitions handled?
Can we co-create a regulation strategy?
What is Co-Regulation?
Regulate Together, Then Learn
Co-regulation = helping your child feel safe and supported through emotional moments.
Regulation must come before academic focus or behavior plans.
It’s not about “calming them down” - it’s about connecting.
Co-Regulation in Schools
From Home to Classroom
Ask your child’s teacher:
  • Who co-regulates with my child?
  • Are calming tools available?
  • What are the strategies for sensory overload?
Suggest a shared plan with visuals, timers, headphones, breaks.
Shared Plans in Action: Consistency Builds Trust
Align routines and expectations at home and school.
When your child experiences the same signals, tools, or approaches across environments, they feel safer and more in control. If you use a “first-then” board or a transition song at home, ask the school if they can implement the same strategy. It helps reduce anxiety and improves predictability.
Use the same language for emotions, transitions, and reinforcement.
If you say “It’s okay to feel big feelings” at home, suggest using that same phrase at school. Shared language helps your child generalize emotional regulation skills and minimizes confusion. Reinforcement systems (e.g., token boards or reward charts) also work better when they’re consistent.
Share sensory profiles or routines that help at home.
What helps your child regulate at home? A quiet space after school? Squeezing a squish ball while listening to music? Share these insights with school staff - they might be able to adapt or replicate them to create similar comfort at school.
Example: Create a shared transition strategy.
Transitions (e.g., ending recess, starting math) can be stressful. If your child uses a 5-minute countdown and visuals at home, you can suggest the same plan at school. When both environments respond similarly to your child’s needs, trust is reinforced - and progress is more likely to follow.
You Are a Changemaker: Empowerment Through Action
You don’t need to know all the answers to be a leader.
Your calm presence and insight make a difference.
You have the right to ask questions, offer ideas, and be heard.
Mutual trust grows from small, consistent acts of collaboration.
Explore the links below to access resources designed for use by teachers and parents
Movies and Podcasts
Learning with the Experts: De-pathologizing Series
Beyond Non-Compliance:
The Many Meanings of NO
With Barry and Dave
Exploring the “Deep Why” of Control
With Barry and Dave
Dave and Barry Discuss
Autism and Relationships
Autism: A Blessing?? A Tragedy??
A discussion with Barry and Dave
Have More Questions? Please Connect!
Whether you're a parent seeking educational support, a school administrator looking to strengthen your school team to better program for autistic students, or a fellow professional interested in discussing best practices, I welcome the opportunity to connect. Please feel free to reach out via phone, email, or through the contact form on my website. I'm committed to responsive and transparent communication, and look forward to discussing how I can be of assistance.
Rute Mendes
Coordinator of Student Services
St. James Assiniboia School Division
Email: rute.mendes@sjasd.ca
(204) 885-1334 ext # 2381
(204) 894-9321
Please scan the QR code to complete the form and get in touch.